Tony in Trouble
by abstractwhisk
Summary: Tony's mysterious girlfriend turns out to be a little more than he can handle.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Ziva walked into the office Monday morning, and was surprised to find Tony, asleep at his desk. She smiled mischievously and quietly walked over to him. Still grinning, she slammed her stuff down on the desk, right next to where Tony was resting his head.

"What the-" shouted Tony, startled, and sitting up quickly. He yawned and looked at his watch.

"Tony," said Ziva innocently, "You look as though you've slept here."

"Hilarious, Ziva," said Tony sarcastically, trying to maintain his composure, "As a matter of fact, I just happened to fall asleep last night while I was, uh, catching up on some reports."

"Sure you did Tony," said Ziva just as sarcastically.

"Did what?" asked McGee curiously as ha joined them in the bullpen, before he noticed Tony's unbrushed hair and wrinkled outfit. "Wow, Tony," he said, "You look like crap."

"Thank you McGee," Tony said glaring at him.

"Oh Tony, was just telling me how he fell asleep last night while 'working' on his reports," answered Ziva smirking.

"DiNozzo working?" asked Gibbs as we walked into the room, "Now that's unlikely. What really happened DiNozzo?"

"Hey," remarked Tony, offended, "Why is everyone so interested in my personal life? Is it that hard to believe that I was working?"

"Yes," the rest of the team answered in unison.

"So," Gibbs asked again, this time more seriously, "why did you sleep here last night?"

"Iwshhingfrmmgrlfrnd," Tony mumbled quickly.

"Didn't quite catch that Tony," said Gibbs. Tony sighed.

"I said, I was hiding from my girlfriend," he repeated, shuffling his feet and not meeting any of their eyes.

"You?" said Gibbs incredulously.

"Hiding?" asked McGee disbelievingly.

"From your girlfriend?" questioned Ziva, in turn.

"Explain," ordered Gibbs.

"Well," started Tony, "I met this girl at a bar,"

"Of course," Ziva sighed, shaking her head.

"What's so wrong with meeting a girl at a bar?" asked Tony indignantly, before seeing Gibbs' look and continuing, "We started talking but I wasn't that into her. Then she started getting all personal and deep and stuff, so I backed off. The more I tried to get away the closer she clung on. Her name was Anita, or at least that's what she said, she had to think about it for a minute when I asked. The next night she came over to my place to 'talk'. I have no idea how she found out where I live, but she came over night after night, so night before last I told her to stop coming, that it was over you know? She got really pissed off and started talking about cutting people up. She said she'd be back tomorrow night. So I decided to play it safe and sleep here," he finished, trying to smile as though it was all a big joke.

"This is serious," said Gibbs frowning.

"What that Tony still has bad taste on women?" asked McGee.

"No," said Gibbs impatiently, "That Tony was threatened."

"Oh," said McGee, understanding.

"You've got to be kidding me Boss," said Tony attempting to laugh, but seeing Gibbs' serious look, his own smile faded.

"You are kidding, right?" he asked worriedly.

"Do I look like I'm kidding DiNozzo?" asked Gibbs.

"Well no, but, come on, its just some crazy girl. She's not gonna actually-" Tony argued.

"You are a federal agent, we take threats very seriously," explained Gibbs beginning to loose his temper, "Go tell Abby everything you know about her. See if we can figure out how much of a threat she is."

"Bu-" Tony protested

"Go. Now." ordered Gibbs, "McGee go with him, and help Abby."

"Bu-"

"Now! DiNozzo," yelled Gibbs.

"Going Boss," said Tony, obediently starting toward the elevator, with McGee close on his heels.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Congratulations Tony," said Abby an hour later. The whole team had congregated in her lab, "You've managed to date the one, the only, Anita Asesino," she finished dramatically.

"Who, Abby?" asked Gibbs.

"Anita Asesino, Gibbs. Asesino means murderer in Spanish," Abby said indignantly, "The FBI has been after this Latina for years. First she goes and dates a guy, and if/when he breaks up with her, she kills them. She does it by cutting them up into teeny tiny piec-"

"I think we get the picture Abs," interrupted Gibbs, seeing Tony's look.

"And you're saying that Tony dated this girl?" asked McGee disbelievingly.

"Yup," answered Abby, "It's lucky you slept here last night, Tony. It's always the night after the breakup that she goes in for the kill. She's already murdered six guys so far, and no one's been able to get her."

"So, you're telling me that I dated a serial killer?" asked Tony also disbelievingly.

"Yes, Tony," said Abby exasperatedly, "I'll say it one more time. The girl that you went out with is definitely a serial killer."

"Well we're gonna catch her right? I mean we can't just leave her out there. She's gonna be out to get me, and… and…" Tony gibbered.

"Yeah, Tony, we're just gonna leave her out there to track you down and cut you into hundreds of pieces," Abby joked. Tony had turned stark white. A look of terror was frozen on his face.

"I'm just kidding Tony. Take a deep breathe. Tony? Hello? Tony?" Abby said, waving a hand in front of his face and snapping.

"Wha-" said Tony looking around dazed, "I just… hundreds of pieces?"

"Maybe you should sit down," Abby said, leading him to a chair. Ziva and McGee stood nearby shaking their heads and attempting to stifle their laughter.

"Well how would you feel?" asked Abby defensively, although she too was trying not to laugh. Gibbs smiled at his agents' behavior as he came up with a plan.

"You want me to what!?!?" exploded Tony, after hearing Gibbs' plan.

"It's the only way Tony," said McGee pleadingly.

"You would be doing the FBI a real favor," said Ziva, "They'd owe us something big this time."

"You're all trying to convince me to put my life on the line to catch this, what was it, Anita Asesino. Just to make the FBI happy?" he continued exasperatedly.

"No," said Gibbs smoothly, "I'm not going to stand here and try and convince you."

"You're not?" asked Tony disbelievingly, but still seeing a glimmer of hope.

"No, DiNozzo," explained Gibbs, "I'm just going to order you to." Tony's glimmer of hope had been crushed, even though his battle was lost he protested.

"You do realize that this isn't some game or movie or anything, right? This is my life we're talking about," he said exasperatedly.

"We're not just sending you in there alone. As soon as she gets there you give us the signal and we're there," reminded Gibbs.

"By the time you get there I could be dead! Couldn't McGee-" he protested, but was cut off.

"We've been over this, she isn't after me, she's after you," said McGee.

"You're not afraid, are you?" Asked Ziva slyly, "I figured the Senior Field Agent would be a little, what's the word, braver at the chance to catch a serial killer," Her plan worked, in seconds Tony was more confident.

I'm not afraid," he said defensively, "I am, after all the most qualified agent for the job."

"That's the spirit," said Gibbs, as Tony realized what Ziva had done.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Just remember," Abby was telling Tony, "Push the button and we'll know it's time," she handed the small machine to him. "It's the latest in technology, sends out a radio signal that can be picked up, by a cell phone hook up. Don't worry, its idiot proof."  
"Are you saying that I'm a-" Tony began, slipping the gadget into his pocket.

"Of course not!" Abby exclaimed, "You'll be fine," and with that she stood on her toes to kiss the top of his head softly. Tony stood there, dazed for a moment, before Gibbs called him over.

"You ready?" he asked, watching Tony carefully.

"As I'll ever be," he replied grimacing.

"Good then lets go," said Gibbs. Tony nodded and followed his boss into the elevator. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught Abby, waving good bye and good luck, until the elevators closed with a surprisingly ominous ding.

The sun was setting as Tony pulled up to his apartment. Slowly he took a deep breathe as he turned into a parking space. He felt empty, because his gun wasn't by his side. He recalled the conversation he and Gibbs had earlier.

"_Does she know you're a federal agent?" the older man had asked him._

"_No," Tony had replied uneasily, wondering what Gibbs was getting at._

"_Then you leave your gun with me," his boss had said in a no-nonsense tone._

"_What?!?!" Tony had shouted. This was unbelievable. First I'm being used as bait, and now they're telling me I can't have a weapon._

"_I-" he started to protest, but Gibbs silenced him with a look._

"_You will leave it with me," he repeated, "If she sees it your cover will be blown entirely and she won't even give you a chance before you die. Tony had known the battle was lost. It made sense, although, of course it did, this was Gibbs talking._

Tony snapped back to the present and got out of his car. At least he still had the knife he had snuck out of the office. Its handle was pressing reassuringly against his ankle. Abby had said that by all means his date-gone-wrong would be back to finish him off tonight. All he had to do was call for backup when she got there. The rest of the team was parked just across the street. Why, oh why, was he so nervous? He had been on countless missions, each way more dangerous than this one.

"DiNozzo!" barked Gibbs through his earpiece, "Are you going or not?" How could he have forgotten? They had decided to be safe and give him an earpiece, but didn't want to risk trying to hide a mike on him. He could hear them, but they couldn't hear him. In his opinion it wasn't very useful, but it was still better than nothing.

He showed Gibbs that he had heard by getting out of his car. As he did so, the little signaler slipped out of his pocket unnoticed. He then walked unhurriedly into the building.

"Oh come on DiNozzo, pick up the pace, we haven't got all day," said the voice in his ear. Same old Gibbs, thought Tony, his patience wouldn't fill a shot glass.

Once inside, Tony sped up to his floor. No use hanging around, he reasoned. When he arrived outside his room he checked his watch. It was a quarter to eight. Anita wasn't expected to arrive until eight or a little after. Joy, thought Tony to himself, plenty of time to sit around and twiddle my thumbs.

Unlocking the door he stepped inside. With his hand halfway to light switch, he froze. The light was already on, someone was already there. A black haired, brown eyed someone, holding a foot long knife.

"Hello, Tony," said Anita. Suddenly Tony's five inch knife wasn't as reassuring anymore.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"Oh hey, uh, Baby," said Tony, feigning casualness, "So that's the, uh, knife you were, uh, telling me about, huh?" He quickly stuck his hands in his pockets, scrambling for the precious machine that would rescue him.

"Where were you last night?" she asked, ignoring his question and asking her own in a voice that was dripping like poisoned honey.

'Oh, just at a, um, old friends house, catching up, you know," Tony said, trying to keep the panic out of his voice. His pockets were empty, it wasn't there. If he made it out of this alive, Abby was going to kill him, that is, after Gibbs was through with him.

Focus, he told himself while mentally smacking the back of his own head. Just try to keep her talking, he thought, that's what any good agent would do. Just keep her talking. Out loud he asked, "So, can you do any tricks?" You idiot, he silently screamed at himself immediately afterwards. 'Can you do any tricks' he thought exasperatedly. That's just asking to be sliced up!

"A few," she answered walking towards him. He stiffened, but instead of attacking him she simply put the hand, not holding the knife, on his shoulder. She then gently, but firmly led him over to his favorite recliner, and sat him down.

Think, said Tony to himself, "You still have the upper hand. She doesn't know that you know that she's going to kill you, or that you're with NCIS.

"So, how'd you get in?" he asked casually, acting as though he had never broken up with her.

"Oh, that was easy," she said giggling, "I just stole your spare."

"Right," said Tony, making a mental note to never, ever, even have a spare key again, let alone leave it out in the open. She sat down flirtasciously on his lap, legs to one side and looking him in the eye. Still holding the knife, she leaned forward to kiss him, careful not to stab him. Tony, who had gotten distracted with the smell of her hair, and the heat of her body against his, didn't even notice her handcuff one of his wrists to the leg of the small table next to the chair. That is, he didn't notice until she stood up.

Looking down and seeing that he was cuffed, he mentally cursed his love of all women.

"Honey," he said, smiling fakely, "What's this?"

"Oh, stop playing dumb, Tony," she snapped, "or should I call you Special Agent DiNozzo,"

"Tony's fi-" he began before the full impact of what she said hit him, "What do you mean?" he tried sounding innocent as he mentally swore again. You idiot, he told himself, again and again. Without warning she slapped him hard across the face.

"Well," he said, dropping his cover completely, "That explains that. If you know I'm a Special Agent, then you know my team's on their way."

"You're an idiot, Tony," she replied echoing his previous thoughts, "I was watching you when you arrived. I saw the device fall out of your pocket, and I already have your phone," she held it up to let him see.

Tony cursed again in his head. First he had let her cuff him, and now she had his phone. Could he have screwed up any worse, he wondered. Just calm down, he told himself rationally, you still have time to get out of this mess. He glanced around the room. The clock on his microwave was flashing eight fifteen, and there was a dead potted plant on the table he was cuffed to. Not much to go by, he thought.

"…focus…" but this time the voice wasn't in his head, instead it was Gibbs in his earpiece. After hearing his boss' voice he realized what he had to do. His plan came together, and all he had to do was wait for a chance to strike.

Anita was still watching him. She started to speak.

"You know I'm going to kill you right?" she asked as she started to pace, "A pity, though, I was beginning to like you." Tony was only half listening though. The other half of his mind was concentrating on his right wrist. If he slid the end of the cuffs attached to the table leg down to the floor, he could slip the leg out. One hand would still be cuffed, just not to anything in particular. He worked carefully as Anita spoke on.

"Where the heck is she, DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked frustratedly in his ear, even though he knew his agent couldn't respond. Tony wanted to yell from the pressure of it all, but held it in. He was almost free. There was a soft clink of metal on wood, and he was out.

"…hope you scream like the others," Anita was saying as she turned to face him, knife at the ready, "I enjoy it."

"You're sick," shouted Tony. Without warning he jumped up from the chair and kicked her hard in the stomach. Her breathe went out with a satisfying "oomph". Knowing she would quickly recover, he rolled to the ground, simultaneously pulling his own knife out of his boot. As he came crouching to a stop he realized that he was no longer with the advantage. Her knife was nearly three times bigger. Then he recalled something that Gibbs' once told him, "Bigger isn't always better." With that he lunged, aiming for her left shoulder. His shot was unlucky, though, he missed when she ducked and stabbed at his right thigh. The blade almost went clear through his leg.

Searing pain raced up his body like fire. Get up, he told himself, try again. So he did, this time his aim improved slightly. He grazed her shoulder, just enough to slow her down. With his remaining strength he bashed her over the head with the potted plant.

Not knowing, or really even caring whether or not she was dead, or just out cold, he crawled over to where she had dropped his cell. He grabbed it and quickly pressed Gibbs' speed dial.

"Boss, I need-" he managed to gasp when Gibbs answered, before passing out completely on the floor.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Tony woke in the ambulance just long enough to see Gibbs hovering over him protectively. Knowing that he was safe, he drifted back into unconsciousness

When he next awoke, Tony was laying in bed in a well lit hospital room. In the corner Gibbs was sitting, watching him. Seeing that he was awake, Gibbs stood and came over to talk. Tony sat up, eager to know what had happened before he passed out, but before he could even open his mouth, Gibbs smacked him on the back of the head.

"What was that for?" Tony asked indignantly.

"What was that for?" repeated Gibbs exasperatedly, "What was that for, DiNozzo? That was for managing to loose a $400 piece of equipment and jeopardizing our entire mission!"

"We got the serial killer, didn't we?" protested Tony.

"Yes, we got her," Gibbs ranted, "but in the process you managed to nearly get your leg sliced off. You're lucky the doctors could save it! I came this close," he held his thumb and finger an inch apart, "to losing my best field agent." Just then Gibbs realized what he had said, "Oh no," he muttered angrily at himself. Tony on the other hand was delighted.

"Aww, Boss. Your best field agent? I never knew you cared," said Tony happily.

"Don't go and get a big head, Tony," said Gibbs almost pleadingly.

"I-" Tony started to gloat, but Gibbs decided to take a more direct approach to fix his mistake.

"If you tell a soul that I said that, I will deny it and shoot you myself, DiNozzo."

"Right, Boss," Tony decided to agree.

"McGee and Abby are waiting to come visit you. Oh, and DiNozzo?"

"Yeah Boss?"

"You owe Abby $400 bucks for that thingamabob you lost," Gibbs informed him grinning.

"What?!!?" yelled Tony, but Gibbs had already left the room.


End file.
